Creatives Scoop

Fuck your Nicotine

The winning poem in the Open Lyric Submission Contest; Inspired by Chance song Cocoa Butter Kisses

Written by Sam Meyers


I miss the smell of smoke.

I miss how it clung to your clothing after walking through a teeming room.

I miss breaking from the clatter of a hundred conversations in a foreign language to walk outside into the empty, stinging cold.


I miss the slow burn; red on white and gold.

When all the nights wanted was my breath, and all I wanted was to watch it go.

Voices evaporating as I join the fresh air.

Weight lifting off my body with every hit.

Breathe, release.

Breathe, release.


We sat watching the water,

then the cigarettes,

then each other.


I miss lighting a match.

I miss it catching your eye.

Fast, like the spark, and then steady, like the flame.

Head blurry. Body melting. Shared bottle of wine, broken open on the stone.

Deliberate in burning tobacco and nothing else.

Music coming from somewhere, maybe my head, maybe my hands.

You reaching for me in the dark and tasting like sugar.


That was the addiction.

Fuck your nicotine.

I needed you.


I miss the slow burn; red on white and gold.

I took your sweatshirt and you laughed, ‘why don’t you take me instead?’.

I missed your smell of smoke.

I am clean where I am now.

I am clear and clever, sharp and strategic.

I am not the mess we knew;

Covered in black, meeting strangers, conquering empty streets.


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